Wednesday, 27 January 2016

A stereotype: take away this ball and chain

So a common joke among the miniatures community is, like ... someone posts a link to a nice but expensive model, and everyone (which, in the part of the community I associate with is often older, married guys) laughs that they're going to be hiding the credit card statements from their wives. I don't think anyone actually does this; I understand that it's just a trope way of saying "I like this product and I'm gonna buy it, even though I jokingly acknowledge that I probably shouldn't." But I think it's kind of a sad statement and maybe pretty unfair.

I mean, I don't know about the rest of you, but although my wife doesn't play miniatures games she encourages me to spend more time playing them and to paint models; she likes to see what I'm painting. She encourages me to spend money on models. Not money we don't have, of course, and she doesn't encourage me to spend time on painting if I'm supposed to be doing something else, but when we're both relaxing, sure. And, I mean, I love her very much and am glad that she expresses an interest in a thing that is important to me, but ... I mean, that's normal, right? If a person you love is into something, you are at least mildly interested in it because you are interested in them. Obviously, some things are more interesting than others, but in general.

I'm not telling anyone how to be married or anything -- some people are more separate in their interests and that's cool too -- but I do think that gag is kind of played out, because either it's true, in which case yikes, or it's not true, in which case I feel like it's perpetuating kind of a corny, sexist stereotype at the expense of someone who isn't there.

Anyway, that's me. It's just kind of always niggled me and it's been a long day.


  1. Generally followed by comments about shoes and handbags...

    It's not peculiar to wargaming of course - elsewhere you hear people saying 'My worse fear is that my wife sells my collection for what I told her I paid for it'.

    I fully agree with you - it IS unfair and sexist of course.

    1. No, you're quite right -- it's not specific to wargaming at all. That's just where I ran into it, since that's my collection-type hobby. And I'm sure no one means it to be sexist; it's just a conventional joke within a conventional genre. But that's how that goes sometimes.

  2. Hear, hear. My better half is always encouraging me with the hobby, and it plays both ways. In fact, on those occasions when the mojo has gone, or I need to limit my plans because of budget, my wife is the one who encourages, supports and helps me see a way through the problem. I'd be in a right pickle without her.

  3. As long as my hobby activity stays within the specified areas, my wife is very supportive. We live in a flat, so her concerns are understandable.